Mum i am just sitting here dwelling on the past...and i feel so hopeless and lost, life is really getting on top of me at the moment because there are some things i have no control over, i want so much to smile and be happy but i can only pretend too...i need your mothers arms around me,to comfort me and reassure me that everything will be alright just like you did when i was a little boy...i lit a beautiful candle for you, bye Mum